At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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