bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
