DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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