he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
