Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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