Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
