and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
