Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
