when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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