holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
