wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
