It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
