I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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