The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
