Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
