I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
