I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
