she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
