exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
as a side note pls kill me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
