this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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