still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
