Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
