IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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