Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
whose ass print is on the piano?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
