that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's just like the Real World with babies
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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