I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its about making memories worth repressing
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
