I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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