Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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