she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
