Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
