Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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