If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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