I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
