So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
