jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
