Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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