Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
