So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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