No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize