Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
