He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
