I think i peed on brittanys purse
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
