He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
