He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
