How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
