this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
