I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
