I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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