they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
