Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
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