i think my mom watched the whole time
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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